This was originally posted to this site on April 18, 2002 12:01 AM

At the time I had a Black Lab/Irish Wolfhound mix named Bailey. She was “the” dog for me and gone 11 years now. Even though I have 4 other dogs right now, I still miss her every day. After squishing a spider in my office I thought about this story…so I dug it out for your reading pleasure.


I should be sleeping right now but I can’t go to sleep yet. Just as I was getting ready to hit the sheets my dog went into spider hunt mode.

She spotted a spider attempting to cross the “No Crawl Zone” between my bed and the bathroom and has engaged. I give the spiders a lot of credit. Few ever make it too far yet they continue their attempts – sacrificing many in the process. I can’t help but wonder if they see their comrades go down in a squirt of spider guts and pour out a little fly juice for their homey.

My dog is an ominous adversary. She routinely patrols the NCZ looking for infidels. She once spotted a tiny spider from about 10 feet away and pounced from about 8 feet to squish it. I know when she’s spotted one because the tail goes straight up and the ears go forward and she s l o w l y moves through the area scanning her head side to side. Once the trespasser has been identified she engages and I usually hear the distinct *snap* of her jaws closing on a tiny screaming bug. She’s got an amazing “1 shot 1 kill” record right now.

This one was different though. I heard the jaws but instead of her trotting back in here with a big smile on her face – she has continued to patrol and I’ve heard several more snaps. I’m concerned.

This could be it. The spiders may finally have launched an all out assault through the NCZ. I fear for my dog. I’m already picturing her in a giant web, with a little militant spider declaring victory while standing on her head.

Maybe they’ve sent their fastest and most agile runner. My poor dog is snapping away in vain while he darts around her feet – taunting her, humiliating her. Maybe his big brother was one of the dog’s previous victims and he has grown up with a purpose in his heart, training hard his whole spider life for the time that he would make his run across the NCZ.

Regardless, this one was awfully close to the bed – until I see a smiling dog you’re not getting me anywhere near it. They may get my dog, but they’re not gonna get a chance to smother me in my sleep. No siree!